Tool 3 of 6
The Push Pull Cycle
One partner reaches for closeness. The other reaches for space. Neither one is the villain, they're both just running an old survival strategy. Click through the four stages to watch the loop play out.
Why it repeats
The cycle isn't caused by one bad night. It's two nervous systems interpreting the same event, closeness, as opposite kinds of danger. One reads distance as abandonment. The other reads closeness as engulfment. Naming the loop out loud is usually the first thing that slows it down.
Recognize this pattern in your own relationship?